jokes

An English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard: "woman without her man is nothing". The teacher then asked the students to punctuate the words correctly.

The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."

The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."

Clothing and Fashion

Actual Transcription

Being in style with the latest fashions is important for some people, but not for me. After I wake up and drag myself out of bed, I change into my clothes for the day. I usually wear a pair of jeans and a t-shirt to school. If it's a little cool outside, I might throw on a sweat shirt or sweater. Then, I put on my shoes, and I'm out the door. Young people my age tend to follow the latest fashions because they want to fit in. My mom is just glad if I don't wear the same shirt three days in a row. What can you expect from a teenager?

Reduced Speech

Being in style with thə latest fashions is important fər some people, but not fər me. After I wake up ən' drag myself out əf bed, I change into my clothes fər thə day. I usually wear ə pair əf jeans ən' ə t-shirt tə school. If it's ə little cool outside, I might throw on ə sweat shirt ər ə sweater. Then, I put on my shoes, ən' I'm out thə door. Young people my age tend tə follow the latest fashions bəcause they want tə fit in. My mom's just glad if I don't wear thə same shirt three days in ə row. What kn yə expect from ə teenager?

Clothing and Fashion

Actual Transcription

Being in style with the latest fashions is important for some people, but not for me. After I wake up and drag myself out of bed, I change into my clothes for the day. I usually wear a pair of jeans and a t-shirt to school. If it's a little cool outside, I might throw on a sweat shirt or sweater. Then, I put on my shoes, and I'm out the door. Young people my age tend to follow the latest fashions because they want to fit in. My mom is just glad if I don't wear the same shirt three days in a row. What can you expect from a teenager?

Reduced Speech

Being in style with thə latest fashions is important fər some people, but not fər me. After I wake up ən' drag myself out əf bed, I change into my clothes fər thə day. I usually wear ə pair əf jeans ən' ə t-shirt tə school. If it's ə little cool outside, I might throw on ə sweat shirt ər ə sweater. Then, I put on my shoes, ən' I'm out thə door. Young people my age tend tə follow the latest fashions bəcause they want tə fit in. My mom's just glad if I don't wear thə same shirt three days in ə row. What kn yə expect from ə teenager?

Idioms and Expressions

    Take it or leave it – either to choose something or not to choose it

There’s nothing else for dinner except pasta and vegetables, so take it or leave it.

 

Play ball – to cooperate or work with (usually unwilling to cooperate in the beginning)

            * It would be much easier if you played ball instead of fighting with me.  

So far so good – Until now everything is well or good

            * How is your planning going? So far so good.  

Take it or leave it – either to choose something or not to choose it.

Trick or Treat – A children's Halloween practice of asking for treats from door to door under threat of playing

tricks on householders who refuse.

Not miss a beat– to continue doing something without hesitation

            * When the mike failed, the TV newscaster kept reporting without missing a beat.

In no time – very quickly, not taking much time, also in a flash

                      * The children got ready in no time to go to the zoo.

Jump the gun – to move or act impatiently before the correct time

                      * The politician jumped the gun when he claimed victory before voting ended.

         The lion’s share – the majority, most

                        * The companies chairman kept the lion’s share of stock.

         Hold your horses – to be patient, similar to “keep your shirt on”

                        * Hold your horses! I am not ready to go yet.

         Come up short – to have less than needed, usually refers to money

                        * David came up short when he counted the money.

Idiom or Expression

Blabbermouth: a very talkative person--especially one who says things that should be kept secret.

*"Don't say anything to Bob unless you want the whole office to know.
Bob's quite a blabbermouth."

 

.

theist, noun  - a person who denies the existence of God.

          *When the judge asked the witness to swear that she would tell the truth, the witness replied that she could not, since she was an atheist.

 

Avid, adjective – extremely eager, enthusiastic.

          * The candidate was accused of having an avid desire for personal power.

 

Belligerent, adjective –  a fighting attitude; war like

          *A truce was arranged between the two belligerent nations.

(Can also be use as a noun)

 

Emulate, verb – to copy or imitate.

          *The basketball player admired his coach so much that he emulated his manner of speaking, walking and dressing.

 

Eulogy, noun – a speech or writing of high praise.

          *At her inauguration the newly elected governor’s eulogy listed the accomplishments of the previous governor.

ُُُُُThe history of ice cream

          The history of ice creamThe first frozen dessert is credited to Emperor Nero of Rome. It was a mixture of snow (which he sent his slaves into the mountains to retrieve) and nectar, fruit pulp and honey. Another theory is Marco Polo, 13th century bard and adventurer, brought with him to Europe from the Far East recipes for water ices....said to be used in Asia for thousands of years.

In 1700 Governor Bladen of Maryland served ice cream to his guests.

The first ice cream parlor in America opened in New York City in 1776.

Dolly Madison created a sensation when she served ice cream as a dessert in the White House at the second inaugural ball in 1812.

Italo Marchiony sold his homemade ice cream from a pushcart on Wall Street. He reduced his overhead caused by customers breaking or wandering off with his serving glasses by baking edible waffle cups with sloping sides and a flat bottom. He patented his idea in 1903.

Others link the ice cream cone's invention to the 1904 World's Fair in St. Louis. An ice cream vendor there reportedly didn't have enough dishes to keep up with demand, so he teamed up with a waffle vendor who rolled his product into "cornucopias."

Invention of the ice cream soda is usually attributed to Robert M. Green, who operated a soda water concession in Philadelphia. Green, who sold a mix of carbonated water, cream, and syrup, apparently ran out of cream and substituted ice cream, hoping his customers wouldn't notice. But they did and daily sales receipts climbed from $6 to $600.

During the stuffy Victorian period, drinking soda water was considered improper, so some towns banned its sale on Sundays. An enterprising druggist in Evanston, IN, reportedly concocted a legal Sunday alternative containing ice cream and syrup, but no soda. To show respect for the Sabbath, he later changed the spelling to "sundae."

In 1843, New England housewife Nancy Johnson invented the hand-cranked ice cream churn. She patented her invention but lacked the resources to make and market the churn herself. Mrs. Johnson sold the patent for $200 to a Philadelphia kitchen wholesaler who, by 1847, made enough freezers to satisfy the high demand. From 1847 to 1877, more than 70 improvements to ice cream churns were patented.

The first commercial ice cream plant was established in Baltimore in 1851 by Jacob Fussell.

In 1983, Cookies 'N Cream, made with real Oreo cookies, became an instant hit, climbing to number five on the list of best-selling ice cream flavors. It also holds the distinction of being the fastest growing new flavor in the history of the ice cream industry.

In 1991, another flavor phenomenon was created -- Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream, which combines the best part of the Chocolate Chip cookie -- the raw dough -- with creamy vanilla ice cream and semi-sweet chocolate chips.

Tough - pronounced - tuf (the 'u' sounding as in 'cup')
Through - pronounced - throo
Dough - pronounced - doe (long 'o')
Bought - pronounced - bawt

It's enough to make anyone crazy

This feature provides a guide to the most common problems when spelling words in English.

Swallowed Syllables - Three Syllables Pronounced as Two Syllables

Aspirin - pronounced - asprin
Different - pronounced - diffrent
Every - pronounced - evry

Swallowed Syllables - Four Syllables Pronounced as Three Syllables

Comfortable - pronounced - comftable
Temperature - pronounced - temprature
Vegetable - pronounced - vegtable

Homophones - Words That Sound the Same

two, to, too - pronounced - too
knew, new - pronounced - niew
through, threw - pronounced - throo
not, knot, naught - pronounced - not
Same Sounds - Different Spellings

'Eh' as in 'Let'

let
bread
said

'Ai' as in 'I'

I
sigh
buy
either

Next, click below to study spelling word problems with silent letters (for example: island) and letters combining to make different sounds (gh = f as in 'cough').

Spelling Words

Silent Letters

B - comb, dumb
D - sandwich, Wednesday
G - sign, foreign
GH - daughter, light, right
H - why, honest, hour
K - know, knight, knob
L - should, walk, half
P - cupboard, psychology
S - island
T - whistle, listen, fasten
U - guess, guitar
W - who, write, wrong

Unusual Letter Combinations

GH = 'F'

cough, laugh, enough, rough

CH = 'K'

chemistry, headache, Christmas, stomach

EA = 'EH'

breakfast, head, bread, instead

EA = 'EI'

steak, break

EA = 'EE'

weak, streak

OU = 'UH' country, double, enough

Idioms

bad-mouth: say unkind, unflattering, embarrassing (and probably untrue) things about someone.

A: "I don't believe what Bob said. Why is he bad-mouthing me?"
B: "He's probably jealous of your success."

be fed up with (with someone or something): be out of patience (with

someone or something);
be very tired of someone or something.

"Bill, you're too careless with your work. I'm fed up with
apologizing for your mistakes!"

ask out (separable): ask for a date.

"Nancy has a new boy friend. Joe asked her out last night."

act like (inseparable): behave in a way that's like wrong with Bob? He's acting like an idiot."

Note: This phrasal verb is very informal.

Phrasal Verbs

act up (no object): misbehave (for people); not work properly -for machines

The babysitter had a difficult time. The children acted up all evening

"I guess I'd better take my car to the garage. It's been acting up lately

IDIOM

roll out the red carpet" = give very special treatment to welcome guests

"The nice thing about the hotel is that they always roll out the red carpet for their guests."

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"24-7" = twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week

"The front desk is open 24-7 in case you need assistance."

Idiom

ace: make an "A" on a test, homework assignment, project, etc"Somebody said you aced the test, Dave. That's great"

antsy: restless; impatient and tired of waiting.

"I hope Katy calls soon. Just sitting around and waiting is making me antsy."

Idiom

at the eleventh hour: at the last minute; almost too late

"Yes, I got the work done in time. I finished it at the eleventh hour, but I wasn't late

IDIOM

"fill up on" = become full

"Hey, don't fill up on potato chips before lunch. You still need to eat your vegetables."

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"whip up" = quickly prepare

"Could you whip up a simple salad for the barbecue?"

IDIOMS

"no spring chicken" = no longer young don't think he'll be able to hike to the summit because he's no spring chicken."

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"play it safe" = be careful and not take chances

"My knee still hurts, so I'm going to play it safe and not go jogging todayo longer young ."

Train Your Accent

Actual Transcription

I have decided to move out of my parents' place to live on my own, and now I am looking for an apartment. However, it is a lot more difficult and expensive than I thought. First of all, a one-bedroom apartment is going for about $500, and that is a little over my budget. Second, you have to pay a deposit, often equal to your first month's rent. Next, most apartments are not furnished, so I have to come up with furniture and a washer and dryer. Finally, the utilities, including gas, electricity, and water are not included either, so that adds to the overall expenses of having your own place. I really think I need to get a roommate, or I will have to move back in with my parents.

Reduced Speech:

I've decided tə move out əf my parents' place tə live on my own, ən' now I'm looking fər ən apartment. However, it's ə lot more difficult ən' expensive than I thought. First əf all, ə one-bedroom apartment is going fər əbout $500, ən' that's ən' little over my budget. Second, yə have tə pay ə deposit, often equal tə your first month's rent. Next, most apartments aren't furnished, so I have tə come up with furniture ən' ə washer ən' dryer. Finally, thə utilities, including gas, electricity, ən' water are not included either, so that adds tə thə overall expenses əf having your own place. I really think I need tə get ə roommate, ər I'll have tə move back in with my parents.

IDIOMS

catch one's eye" = attract one's attention

"She was planning on renting a compact car, but a nice sports car caught her eye, and she left the parking lot with it."

 

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"pay through the nose" = pay a great deal for something, sacrifice for

"You'll pay through the nose to rent a car during the holiday season."